Its a ride we’re strapped in

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Love drains you, takes with it much of your blood sugar and water weight.
You are like a house slowly losing its electricity, the fans slowing,
the lights dimming and flickering; the clocks stop and go and stop.

Was I ever truly over him? At one time I was sure that the answer was yes.
But if seeing him again- and merely touching his hand- could peel back
so many layers of my heart, then did I ever stop loving him the way
you’re supposed to stop loving everyone but the one you’re with?

I’m lonely, and I am hurt. I’m tired of feeling weak. I’m tired of being alone. I’m tired of feeling invisible. I’m tired of crying myself to sleep. I’m tired of shutting everyone out. I’m tired of never being good enough. I’m shaking, gasping for breath, and I’m absolutely terrified. Waiting for that moment, the one that comes every time. The one where you detach yourself and leave me alone once again. I’m so sick of all of this, of feeling like I have nowhere to go. My last resort fell through. And just like always, I’m alone.

And I thought that all those little kids are going to grow up someday. And all of those little kids are going to do the things that we do. And they will all kiss someone someday. But for now, sledding is enough. I think it would be great if sledding was always enough, but it isn’t.

Suddenly, all I can think about are all the things I don’t know about him. All the things I never had time to learn. I don’t know if his feet are ticklish or how long his toes are. I don’t know what nightmares he had as a child. I don’t know which stars are his favorites, what shapes he sees in the clouds. I don’t know what he is truly afraid of or what memories he holds closest.

Basically, I wish that you loved me. I wish that you needed me. I wish that you knew when I said two sugars, actually I meant three. I wish that without me your heart would break. I wish that without me you’d be spending the rest of your nights awake. I wish that without me you couldn’t eat. I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep.

It’s not the way I’m meant to be, it’s just the way the operation made me. And you can tell from the state of my room, that they let me out to soon and the pills that I ate came a couple years to late and I’ve got some issues to work through….

By Dresden Dolls

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You’re the best thing about me

 - by admin

With my fingertips, I trace on your bare skin all of the things I’d like to say but cannot speak. You mean everything. There not quite words enough, to tell you all the things that you’ve become for me.

“Before you go through this, I want to remind you of the first time that I saw you in the car after 4 years of departure. I’d never seen anything so perfect and tender. I remember thinking that I had to have you or I’d die. At that moment you held my hand and lay your head on my left shoulder, with your eyes closed. I felt that you missed me as much as I’ve been missing you… Then you whispered that you loved me, and I felt so peaceful and safe because I knew that no matter what happened, from that day on, nothing can ever be that bad because I had you. “

Then you had to leave again, but not for so long supposedly. And I lived on the memories that we had in a very short time… They were the hope that kept me breathing and drew a fake smile on my face waiting to see your gorgeous smile again…

But shit happens as usual and circumstances did their best to push us away from each other. Very far away from each other to a limit that I can’t even hear your whispers in my ears, each night before I sleep, wishing me a sweet dream.

But I guess if I love you, I should let you move on…

These are things that I don’t understand: how infinite is space, & who decides your fate. Why everything will dissolve into sand. How to avoid defeat, when truth & fantasy meet? Why nothing ever turns out the way you plan!

It always fascinated me how people go from loving you madly to nothing at all, nothing. It hurts so much. When I feel someone is going to leave me, or left me…. And I had a tendency to break up first before I get to hear the whole thing, but I couldn’t because I’m in love with him. Here it is. I really love this one! When I think that it’s over, that I’ll never see him again like this… well yes! I’ll bump into him, we’ll meet our new boyfriend & girlfriend, act as if we had never been together, then we’ll slowly think of each other less & less until we forget each other completely.

Forget the one & only…

Then after a few months of total emptiness start again to look for true love, desperately look everywhere & after two years of loneliness meet a new love & sweat it is the one, until that one is gone as well! There’s a moment in life where you can’t recover anymore from another break-up.

Losing your first real love, it’s like waking up from an overdose and realizing that you’re still alive.

Now nothing makes sense and nothing matters anymore… since the precious is gone, I wont be sad on anyone else…

Without you there was no me
you’re the air that I breathe…

Dee
*2008*

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what you deserve!

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I wish…

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It’s sad

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I can’t

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The Memory of you…

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Anything less…

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Lonely

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Moments

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Right thing

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A chance

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Ice

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Anger

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I wish!

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To forget…

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Still be standing..

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still be standing

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